When we want to be a douchebag, we go to a pool party and sit like this, too.

BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay Lohan is going to give birth to a bag of cocaine!

Heidi, Spencer, & Hulk Hogan all wear Ed Hardy's pseudo-tattoo covered line of clothes, they are also giant douches. Coincidence? We think not.

She really looks great and you can barely notice that she actually stitched two seperate bikini bottoms and a brown paper bag together for the bottom.

Cash Warren, you sir are the captain of the douche squad, K-Fed has nothing on you, you openly mock Jessica's pregnant body while the rest of us mourn what you ruined.

The punching bags Hulk had installed on his daughters chest show no signs of life.

They can take the booze out of the drunk but they can't take the fun out of the fun bags.

Hilary's fashion sense has afforded a hideous bag and a possible, bloody death by purse accident.

Sexual thoughts aside… what's with the blue outfit? There isn't much sexy about screwing a zip lock bag.

Blogger Perez Hilton succeeded in making Britney Spears look sexy and fit by comparison when he paraded hit fat ass around in a pink wig, flip flops, and a Cheetos bag. He even out-crotched her.

Some douche probably inherited this car from his grandpa, then just *had* to trick it out.

Kanye West and P. Diddy were guests at England's "concert for Diana," where they posed with her son, Prince Harry. Kanye wore douche-bag 80s Pringles sunglasses and Diddy sported the classiest Diana t-shirt he could find in the hamper. Great job, guys.

Johnny hit the jackpot this summer when he realized he could fill freezer bags with grass-clippings and make a fortune selling weed to Jr. High kids.

Creed front-douche Scott Stapp got arrested (again) when he came home high and threw an Orangina bottle at his wife. He also owns a lot of guns.

Douche Gone Wild.

Jared Leto got fat for his role as John Lennon's killer. Then he got skinny for his roll as rock music killer. Because he's a douche.

A surprisingly sober Tara Reid is looking less like a bag o' puke these days. Good for her.

Liver spots? Check. Bags under the eyes? Check. Sagging mouth? Check. Creepy old lady neck? Check. Looks like Goldie Hawn should be CHECKing in at her plastic surgeon!

More from the Paris Exposed files! She's loading up a pipe from her bag o' grass.

I see London, I see France, I see your shopping bag's underpants!