Little Rock, Arkansas – When Michelle Duggar’s vagina overheard a conversation about a “due date” for “Number 19, Jesus-Jaylyn”, the vagina, known locally as “Stretch” reportedly suffered a massive panic attack.

This is the eighteenth known attack the vagina has suffered, and sources close to situation say the vagina was seen being carried away on a stretcher screaming expletives at Mr. Duggar. The source went on to say that the vagina was so agitated that it most certainly would have been waving its arms in the air, if it had been able to grow arms.

When contacted, a hospital representative would only say that the vagina was resting comfortably after being denied a transfer to a different body.

It's happend with Jesus on pieces of cloth and tree bark, and now it's happening with Michael Jackson on hospital baby scans. What you see here is not just a baby, but the majestic face of the King of Pop Himself, Michael Jackson. This is such a miracle, you guys. How blessed are the parents of this child? Not only does their child look like Michael Jackson, but he'll probably sound and grab his crotch just the way He did. They can only hope, we're sure.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Michael Jackson. Amen.

(via Telegraph.co.uk)